I've been down in So Cal for the last couple of days. I'm trying to line things up for me to transfer to Talbot seminary at BIOLA, and also to secure a job (or two) for myself while I'm here. All of that is so trivial compared to this morning. Today I drove from Whittier to Hollywood so that I could attend Reality church in LA.
Leigh Hussman had been telling me how she wanted our friend Becca and I to come and see this church for the last six months or so. Today was that day, and how appropriate. Honestly, I feel like it was God's plan for me to be there, to experience that message, to live with that community of believers today.
Have you ever been in church, and you can really hear the worship band up in front as well as some of the people around you singing, but on the whole, it seems like it should be a lot louder if the other 600 people in the room were singing? Today we filled the ampetheatre, about 850 people in all, and when I stood there praising God through song, I could hear - no - I could feel that everyone in the room was singing praises right along side me. It wasn't an audience, they were opening up their hearts unto the Lord. It was a community of believers. It was 850 people who weren't at church because it was the thing to do on a Sunday morning, it was a body of believers who had created a home for themselves.
I've never really felt that before. I'd say at least 80% or more were under the age of 30 there. It was all people who would be called "youth" by the forces that be, yet these people are the generation that is rising up to claim their faith and make it new, make it whole, make it central to the world around them. I loved my time there this morning. It was so fresh and invigorating to feel and see peoples' hearts open up to His word and just praise Him, responding to His call in their lives.
Then Pastor Tim spoke. Thats when I realized that beyond me trying to be responsible about school and work this weekend, that God wanted me to be here. Tim's message opened up my eyes to my life, my idols, my brokenness. Being in seminary and studying scripture had blinded me to the fact that I still need Jesus. No level of discipline or right-behavior negates this primary fact. You see, its a life-long journey that we are on. At no point do we reach a plateau and find that we've got enough God for now. You can't say to yourself, "You know what? I think I'm spiritual enough right now. My walk with God is good enough for now. I'm good." I fooled myself into thinking that because I was always studying Scripture, that I had a healthy relationship with Christ. I fooled myself into thinking that I was capable of getting through these depressing times, and that I was strong enough to forge a new path through the changes that are happening.
Boy was I wrong. Tim's message was on sexual brokenness. We examined how culture viewed sexuality over the years, and then about how the Bible viewed sexuality. From there, we looked at what a couple of "professionals" had to say on the subject. Great information, and he did a great job of bringing it in an entertaining yet educational yet relational fashion. But then Tim started talking about idols, and how we as humans make created things our idols so easily.
Initially, I brushed such ideas off easily. There's no way I've got idols running my life. But its true. I do. I've made several idols in my life which are keeping me from experiencing Christ in my life. Jesus (ideally) permeates every aspect of one's life. Sadly, I ended up making things such as relationships, sex (not just the act, but society's concept of it), work, education, and my social life all idols of sorts. I'm so distracted from Jesus, that I often fail to experience Him in my life. And then there's the disappointment. Tim explained that because we make these things our idols so readily, we experience the frustration when they disappoint us because the AREN'T GOD. We have turned to them to fill Jesus' role in our lives, and when they disappoint we are hurt because they couldn't live up to the high standard to which God IS.
Its when you realize the depravity to which you exist that you can finally realize how much you need - hear me - need Jesus in your life. He's the only thing that satisfies. We look to girlfriends, spouses, money, jobs, or status to fulfill our desires, only to find ourselves lacking. Jesus is the one sure-fire thing in this world that can meet our needs. Our REAL needs. When we are able to set our entire lives upon Him, we find ourselves without needs. Every aspect of our lives are full - and happy. Have you ever wanted to really, truly be happy? Do you ever find yourself depressed and wanting? I heard and realized today that I've turned to relationships, sex, and education to bring me happiness. I thought that by being married I'd be a happy person. I thought that by having a better body I'd be happier. I assumed that by going and getting my M.Div that I'd be happy. I know now in my soul the truth. I have only but to fill my life up with Jesus, and everything else will be able to bring glory to Him, the Creator.
God has my best interests in mind, and He knows how to make my life whole. I feel blessed to have experienced the message today, invigorated towards making Christ more of my life. I loved Reality. It was a great church, an authentic community of believers. This church makes me excited to move down to southern California.
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